What was once here is gone. I had tried to revive it but it was a lost cause. My interest in the leprechaun is dead. The leprechaun was a weak, naive and pliable thing that I want to get as far away as possible from. I have other plans besides dwelling on weakness.
When I resurface, it won't be here and only the Poems will be left, albeit transformed. That is my main goal. Revising the Poems so that the little good that came out of the leprechaun can be saved. Won't be hard because those Poems were written before the leprechaun and because the leprechaun was a creative dead end.
The leprechaun became an extreme disapointent to me. It was supposed to be a radical way for me to express myself as a Bi-Sexual and a Spiritual Being. Instead I became bogged down in self censorship and simply spat out what I believed to be what "friends" wanted me to say. Creativity dried up and I landed up dumping both the novel I had been working on for years and the Poems that had been a comfort to me. Those "friends" have since faded and that has finally allowed me to liberate myself from the chains of the leprechaun.
I am tired. Tired of the infighting and power plays that are ravaging the various Pagan Religions and Occult traditions. I am tired of the attempts of self apointed leaders to redefine vocal opposition to their dogmas out of those religions and traditions, going even so far to redefine entire Religions and Traditions out totally. I am tired of the morbid "dark" practioners and of the refusal to face the reality of life of the "light" practioners. I need to rebuild my spiritual strength and express myself as I really am.
